The Second Half - Making Your Days Count

It's been half a year already...
Questions I ask myself:
1. What have I learned so far?
2. What areas of my character have I grown in?
3. How many people have I studied the Bible with?
4. How many women have I helped grow?
5. What's my new favorite thing to cook for my husband and I?
6. What books have I read so far? / And am I on track for reading through to Bible as well?
7. What's my plan for the next 6 months?


My two favorite Psalms that help me remember how short my time is here on earth are Psalm 39 & Psalm 90. Verse 12 of Ps 90 is my constant prayer and scripture I scribble in my planner every year.


"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." - Psalm 90:12

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end
    and the number of my days;
    let me know how fleeting my life is.
 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
    the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
    even those who seem secure.
“Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom;
    in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth
    without knowing whose it will finally be.
“But now, Lord, what do I look for?
    My hope is in you. - Psalm 39:7

I really want to make my days count. I don't want to take anything for granted. And because it is so easy to get carried away by a million things going on around me I have to make a deliberate effort to put God first each day. Every year I make an effort to read through the Bible. In between there were 2-3 years where I studied the New Testament in depth (Jesus' teachings in the Gospels, Paul's letters, humility), and then just the Old Testament! There is so much to drink deeply of in the word. To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless. (Psalm 119:96) 

When this year began I was really down and didn't even know if I wanted to be in the ministry anymore. I had been working full-time as a lecturer in a university for a year (8-5pm, Monday through Friday and occasionally on Saturday too), and as a woman in the full-time ministry (which meant my weekend was the busiest). I felt so exhausted and overwhelmed that I was contemplating going back to grad school so that I could just not be in leadership for a while, and just study with my classmates and baptize them. I thought to myself "David will get hired by any ministry because he's a great leader! I'll go back to school and recover for a bit, and people won't hate me just because I'm the leader (or feel weird being close friends with me)". But because I knew deep in my heart, I have to fight to have good quiet times with God, I prayed and kept going to the word. Even on days where I felt like nothing hit my cold heart, I prayed asking God to help me decide what to do because I was not going to quit based on my feelings of discouragement. David and my parents were very supportive and pushed me back to God to ask him for direction. And that's when everything changed. God opened a door for me to be in the full-time ministry again and not have to work a secular job on top of being a women's minister. I was so blown away by his answer to my prayer and I'm so grateful I didn't give up when it all felt so overwhelming. So here's year 2 of me working full-time and leading in the ministry but I feel so much more faithful, and determined to get through this because of what lies ahead. It's so weird because technically, nothing has changed in term of my work load or the struggles in the ministry. But what actually changed was that now I had hope. I know something is coming soon and just that hope helps me get going. I'm back to studying with women and have d-times during my lunch breaks and right after work. On Saturday mornings I take time to relax and have a longer quiet time. And then I'm back to spending time with the body and building it up with everything I have left. What a funny thing hope is. All we have to do is get through this short life because of the incredible hope we have for what lies ahead. It reminds me of Gandalf's conversation with Froddo...


“PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.
GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.
PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?
GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.
GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.”

During the past two years on an island, and in a country where we are the only church in our movement, I've had to fight for my own walk with God more than ever before. I didn't have an older woman in the faith I could just go to and pour my heart out to. I had some long-distant phone calls to people abroad that got disconnected often because of a poor internet connection. I really really had to fight to be listened to by God, and to really listen to His voice of faith, love and encouragement amidst what felt like darkness. I made it a point to read one spiritual book a month (apart from the Bible). I also fought to read something secular like a novel, paint, and write (thus the birth of this blog!) so I wouldn't go crazy.

We can always blame people for ourselves not doing well spiritually. Have you been hurt by someone who you looked up to in the faith and expected to help you? Or a best friend who was with you on this journey and isn't anymore? Did you lose someone you loved to a tragic accident or sudden death? Did you get incredibly sick and feel weak, helpless and alone? It won't make sense now...but it will once you get out of that cloud of discouragement by holding on to God and not getting bitter. Forgive, let it go, give it all to God! He can handle all of it.

We have to always remember to cling to God with everything we have so that we can get through all of this, and not just get through it but grow through it and come out triumphantly. The world is lost and we need to stay outward focused despite our hardships. Please pray for the church in Colombo, Sri Lanka! We have only one church here in the entire country, which is home to 21 million people!

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." - 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God. - 2 Cor 2:14-17

I pray this encourages you to know that the second half of your year can be better than the last. It's never too late to change and make the most of it. God is with you! Don't isolate yourself if you're down, surround yourself with disciples! (Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. Proverbs 18:1 ESV) Give more than you ever have before, and you will truly see the treasure where your heart is.

Paul to Timothy - "Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." - 1 Tim 4:15-17 

The first image is from Erica and Brian's senior thesis work that my friend from college captured an image of on her tumblr. http://benmcnutt.tumblr.com/post/48564953534/this-weekend-i-shot-some-photographs-for-erica-and